Darling So It Goes
by tyrantsandcreampuffs
Summary: Five years after a messy break up, their lives cross again. And again. And again. After bumping into each other for the nth time, they're left to wonder if some things are meant to be. / AU. #17
1. Ruined Nights

**Darling So It Goes  
**by **Starrify**

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Notes: Obviously, this is AU. I know I'm supposed to be updating _Heavy Lies The Crown_, but I still have another exam next week and then my finals for summer classes—and _then_ I'll finally be free to write again. I'm posting this now because it's been on my computer for a while now and I thought I'd like to have your input before I decide if this is worth continuing or not. :)

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**Friday, 11 January 78 C.E.**

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The Minerva was one of the most exclusive restaurants in the city of Aprilius. Located in the heart of the first district and renowned for its dinner sets, one would need to call at least four months in advance just to reserve a table—and if one was really lucky, one could get a table when someone cancels their reservation a day before.

Therefore, Athrun Zala was a very lucky man.

"You actually outdid yourself, Athrun," the girl in front of him gushed openly. "I never thought I'd get the opportunity to eat here! At least, not before I turned thirty."

"Well, only the best for my girl, right?" he replied, raising the glass of red wine in his hand. "Cheers to us."

Likewise, the girl raised her own glass. The clinking sound of their glasses meeting lost in the cacophony of other conversations and notes played by the string quartet at the center of the restaurant. Around them, the other couples faded into the simple grey and red motifs of Minerva.

She was beautiful, Athrun thought; how could anyone else in the room stand out when his girlfriend was right there in front of him?

"To be honest," she continued after taking another sip from her glass. "I didn't think we'd reach our second anniversary, what with us not seeing each other as often as I'd like. But somehow we made it work, didn't we?"

"Of course we did," he answered back with a smile. "It's not me to not try."

"It isn't, is it? That aside, I was really surprised when you asked me to meet you at _the _Minerva! I mean, it takes at least—what?—five months to get a table here. That means five months ago, you thought we'd still be together until now."

Athrun laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head. She didn't have to know that he only remembered it was their anniversary today because her older sibling threatened him to treat her, and that he only got lucky with the reservation in this restaurant.

"Well, if we had broken up after I made this reservation, I'd probably be eating here by myself right now."

"And let you have all of this amazing seared steak?" she scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "I don't think so, Athrun."

He smiled back politely. If there was one thing he adored about her, it was how childish she could be. She wore a light green dress which had puffs for sleeves; he had meant to tell her off about her inappropriate attire earlier, but decided against it—after all, he didn't want to ruin what was supposed to be _their_ night.

"Do you mind if I go to the ladies' room?" she then asked, standing up before he could even act as a gentleman and pull her seat back for her. "I just need to wash up a bit."

"Of course I don't mind. You go ahead; I'll be right here."

While she was away, he nervously fiddled with a small box in the inside pocket of his suit jacket. This was it, he thought as he brought it out and placed it on his lap under the table. Athrun looked at the diamond-cut and wondered if she would like it, if she would accept him—but of course she would; after all, why wouldn't she? She was hopelessly devoted to him. It scared him and put it off at times, but overall it was endearing, really.

He was going to ask her to marry him. He was going to pull through. He was—

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry!"

The restaurant suddenly turned silent as everyone's attention turned to the scene enfolding near the entrance. He stood abruptly, rushing to assist his girlfriend who was now planted on the red velvet carpet, surrounded by spilled wine and broken shards of glass. When he reached her, he held out his hand for her to take. At first she looked at him dazedly—must have been the impact of her fall—and then she finally got back her senses and accepted his offer to help her stand.

"Excuse me, sir; but your date just ruined my suit!"

Athrun turned around and saw a man tapping his leather shoes impatiently, his hands folded across his chest, and his long lavender hair pulled back like that of a woman. He had looked familiar, and Athrun could have thought more of it if the man in front of him hadn't swung a fist at him.

"Don't!" Meyrin shrieked, running to stand between Athrun and the quite violent stranger. "Please, sir, I'm the one who tripped and hit the waiter! You can take your anger out on me, sir!"

Despite the shock of almost being hit by a man who didn't even look half as good as him, Athrun could not help but smile endearingly at his girlfriend.

She would agree to marry him. She would never leave him. She would—

"That's quite enough, Yuuna," another voice cut in; a deeper voice, a voice he _knew_. "Just leave them alone; I'm sure you've ruined their evening enough."

"Ruined their evening!" the man named Yuuna fumed. "What about my dress shirt? This stain is—"

"Removable, I'm sure," the other lady replied. "You're not making a good impression, really. If I was thinking straight, I'd be walking out of this place right now; but luckily for you, I downed a few shots before you picked me up."

The blonde woman wearing a tulle dress of a similar shade of light green sent a wink toward Meyrin's direction, who still looked dumbstruck at everything happening around her. After seeing the blonde woman step in and diffuse the tension in their small group, the other patrons resumed their eating and conversing; and Minerva was alive with music once more.

"And knowing how vain you can be, I know you have a spare shirt somewhere in your car," she continued, smirking at her glowering date. "Get over yourself, Yuuna, before I decide to ditch you tonight."

"But Cagalli!" Yuuna whined like a petulant child—which he probably is, Athrun thought mildly as he watched the two interact. "This is _the_ Minerva! It took me four months to reserve a table here!"

The blonde woman—Cagalli—burst out in laughter, clutching her stomach as she did so.

"Really now? Yuuna, we met _three_ months ago! You probably just bribed someone to put you on top of the waiting list." She finished laughing and wiped a tear forming on her right eye. Then, she pointed to the blue-haired man standing behind them. "You can ask Athrun how hard it really is to get a table here."

Cagalli turned to face Athrun.

"Well?"

"I actually only called in yesterday and I was lucky enough that someone else cancelled their reservation."

Damn how, even now, he couldn't lie to her.

"Athrun!" Meyrin gasped, hurt. "I thought you actually—wait, you two know each other?"

"I…" he stuttered, digging up possible alibis in his mind. "You see—"

"So you're Athrun, huh?" The purple-haired man's scowl only deepened. "She _always_ talks about you."

"Okay, now I'm leaving!" Cagalli announced and walked out of the restaurant in her black stilettos—to which the other guy reacted by shouting her name loudly and running after her, stumbling a few times.

Meyrin couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy at what she had just heard and witnessed.

"Athrun?" she called out, but he was already so far away.

She was beautiful, Athrun now remembered as he watched her walk away; how could he have thought that anyone else could compare?


	2. Old Friends

**Darling So It Goes**  
by **Starrify**

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Notes: Wow, so I guess you guys would like me to continue it. I've only written up to chapter three, so chapter four onwards will only be written after I finish _Heavy Lies The Crown_ (or in between chapters if I feel like it). Thanks for all your feedback! Enjoy chapter two. :)

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**Saturday, 12 January 78 C.E.**

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After fighting with Meyrin when he brought her to her shared apartment with her older sister in Martius City, Athrun was _tired_. He had driven back frustrated and hadn't slept well afterwards—it also didn't help that he had run out of coffee in the condominium he maintained in the city.

It was only six in the morning when he found himself putting on his coat and walking out into the streets of Aprilius. He could tell that he looked like shit, but he couldn't care less. His series of meetings with various company representatives began tomorrow—he had today for himself.

Randomly picking one café a few blocks away from his condominium, Athrun entered and looked at the quaint interior. Surely this was a new place as he had never seen this before. _The Dessert Tiger_. What a weird name, Athrun thought as he walked to the cashier where there was a woman with blue hair brighter than his own.

"Good morning, sir! What can I get for you today?"

"Good morning," he greeted back politely, eyeing the menu above her head. "This place is new, isn't it?"

"We just moved here three months ago and business has been quite good," the amiable woman responded. Athrun saw her nametag read 'Aisha' and briefly wondered if they were somewhat related—blue hair wasn't that common, after all. "Ever since we opened, we rated as having the best coffee in the first district, and the third in best cheesecake. But I can still guarantee that you'll enjoy anything you order in our menu, sir."

"If that's the case, I'll have—" he started, but Aisha interrupted him before he could place his order.

"Oh, good morning, Cagalli!"

He was too quick to turn around as he had accidentally surprised the blonde who had just entered.

"Woah!" She blinked her big gold eyes. "Athrun!"

The way she said his name—after not hearing it come from her lips for _so long_—affected him so. Well, she had accidentally blurted out his name when they bumped into each other last night, but it was only because she had wanted to prove something to her date.

"Hello, Cagalli." God, did he miss saying _her_ name. "I didn't expect you to be here."

"I didn't expect _you_ to be here," she retorted, pulling her coat closer to her body. "I get my coffee here every day. Why do you think Aisha there would greet me?"

They were being _civil_. Athrun tried to see if there was still something there, a trace of what she used to feel for him; but her usually expressive eyes were cold as she stared back at him. But what exactly was he expecting: that she'd jump at him as soon as they saw each other again? No, they had moved on—he was ready to propose to his new girlfriend of two years, for crying out loud! And she was also more than free to go out with whoever she wanted. They had no claim on each other—not anymore.

They were mature enough to talk to each other again like how normal people do. It had been five years, after all. He shook his head and let out a small chuckle as he saw how she puffed her cheeks and scrunched her eyebrows. At least he knows that she hadn't changed too much.

"I'll pay for your coffee."

"With your dad's credit card?"

"No, I obviously have my own now."

"Alright; why not?" She shrugged. "Free coffee is free."

Cagalli sat in her usual seat in one of the booths near the large glass windows of the café. She took out a book out of her satchel and opened it to one of the bookmarked pages, and began to read as if there was no one else in the world.

Athrun stopped staring and shook his head. He redirected his attention to Aisha, who was smirking knowingly.

"So you and Cagalli are _friends_?"

"Old friends from university, actually."

"With _that_ tension? I don't think so, honey," Aisha laughed. "Anyway, she usually orders latte macchiato and a slice of our cheesecake."

Athrun frowned. "She used to love cappuccino. She'd order it every chance she got."

"Well, she does order it sometimes, when it rains."

"I see." Athrun stole another glance at the blonde, who was still busy reading in her booth. "I'll get her order and an Americano and another slice of cheesecake."

"I'll bring your orders at your table in a few minutes." After swiping his credit card, Aisha handed it back to Athrun with a wink. "Have fun talking to the little girl."

"Oh, she can be _very_ immature alright," Athrun mumbled as he walked to Cagalli's booth. Once he was standing near the edge of the table, the blonde closed her book and looked up at him. "Hello, Cagalli."

"Athrun."

He took his seat across her and for a minute they sat silently in the booth, casually observing one another—but in the end, found nothing too significant had changed.

"So," Cagalli started after Aisha brought their coffees and cakes to their table, not wanting to beat around the bush. "That girl you were with yesterday. Is she your girlfriend?"

"Yeah."

"She looked nice," Cagalli stated, taking a sip from her macchiato. "I mean; to have jumped in between you and Yuuna! That girl's got guts."

"Sure."

"But her dress was horrendous! The shade didn't suit her, especially with that red hair of hers. And those sleeves made her look like she came right out of a fairytale book."

"Yep."

Cagalli frowned, glaring at the blue-haired man. "Am I talking to a wall?"

Athrun blinked—once, twice; and Cagalli had to fight the urge to not feel butterflies in her stomach as she looked into his beautiful green eyes once more.

"No, no; I'm sorry. It's just that—"

"This is awkward, isn't it?" Cagalli supplied, her fork poking into the cheesecake. "Really, Athrun. It doesn't have to be."

"We haven't seen each other in so long," Athrun corrected. "I don't know what to talk about since I know nothing of your life now. I see Kira and Lacus every now and then, so it's not awkward between me and them."

"You mean you don't find it awkward talking to your ex-girlfriend?"

"Excuse me?"

"I mean," Cagalli said with a sly smile. "Lacus is your ex. And Kira is your best friend."

"I've had a decade to get over that," Athrun answered, forcing himself not to think too much into her words. "Anyway, who was the guy with you? Seemed like a total—"

"Oh, he _is_ a total ass," Cagalli whined, rolling her eyes. "But he's been persistent ever since I got stationed here in Aprilius."

"You arrived here three months ago."

"How did you know that?"

"Last night, you rebuked the guy you were with by saying that you only met three months ago," Athrun replied cautiously. "So I'm assuming you met when you arrived."

"Ever so perceptive, aren't you?" Cagalli smiled back and took another sip from her hot drink. "I liked my job in Heliopolis, but it was too peaceful there. Aprilius is just bustling with life and energy. I think it suits me more here."

Athrun chuckled. Indeed, Cagalli was never the type to settle down, he admitted to himself with some bitterness. In the end, he couldn't stop himself from telling her, "I suppose it's just like you to leave when you're bored."

Perhaps it was the fatigue or the exhilaration from the delicious brewed coffee and from seeing her again. Perhaps it was all the pent up frustration from the last five years. Or perhaps, simply, it was the truth.

And perhaps she wasn't ready to take it in.

"Thank you for the coffee, Athrun." Cagalli stood and told him, her voice colder than ever, "And for the company, for whatever it was worth."

"Cagalli…" he tried to reach for her arm, stop her from leaving; but his hand never did leave the handle of his coffee mug. "I'm sorry. I was out of line."

"But you never say things you don't mean, Athrun," she said with a shake of her head. She grabbed her satchel and took a step out of the booth. "I should go now."

"I'll see you around the city, maybe?"

She looked back at him once before she exited the café.

"Maybe."


	3. Broken Cars

**Darling So It Goes**  
by **Starrify**

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Notes: Again, I've only written up to this point, so anything goes for the next chapters. I'm still not sure if I should continue this, so I guess it will all depend on whatever feedback I get from you guys. :) Thank you all for supporting my stories!

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**Friday, 18 January 78 C.E.**

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"Taxi!"

Cagalli waved her hand to flag one of the yellow cabs down, but to no avail. As the sixth she tried to call drove away, she stomped her left heel angrily on the pavement, feeling ever frustrated that she was going to be late for her meeting.

"Breathe in," she recited her mantra. "You wanted to live in the city. You've been here for three months; you should have seen this coming—but dear gods in heaven, why did my baby Rouge have to break down _today_ of all days!"

She was referring to her beloved car of five years, which she had received from her father as an advanced graduation gift while she was in college. The car held a great sentimental value to Cagalli for the things that took place in it. She had many misadventures, driving around aimlessly in the night; but there was one night she remembered well: the night she drove away and left Athrun in the rain.

Before she could take a trip back to memory lane, the blonde cleared her head of the bitter thoughts which would soon arise if she didn't stop thinking of that night. Ever since Athrun came back to her life a week ago, she'd been haunted by memories of their relationship, of how happy she used to be when he was with her.

She had been staring into space for too long that she hadn't realized a taxi had pulled over right in front of her. Cagalli sighed in relief and took a step forward, but then another hand reached for the handle of the door. She took a step back as another figure quickly jumped into the cab, and watched as the transport sped away into the streets.

Bloody. Hell.

"That was mine!" Cagalli screamed, dropping her bag on the pavement beside her in frustration. She was going to be _late_ and she'd have hell to pay if she didn't make it to her sales pitch. She bent to pick up her bag when she felt the heel of her left shoe snap; making her wobble to regain her balance—but ultimately failed. She fell forward, her face planting on the rough pavement.

Today was definitely _not_ her day.

"Cagalli?"

Damn it all to hell.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded as she got back up on her feet, wobbling to the side as her shoe was broken.

"I dropped off some documents for a colleague," Athrun replied coolly. "And you?"

"I just came out of a meeting." She saw Athrun's eyes wander down to her feet, finally noticing her dilemma.

"Do you need any help with that?" he asked her, stifling his laughter—although his amusement at her situation was clearly seen in his eyes. "You look ridiculous, by the way."

"Well, it's nice to see you, too, Athrun," Cagalli grunted. She adjusted her stance such that she put most of her weight to her right foot, and crossed her arms over her chest. Haughtily, she quirked a brow at him. "How could you possibly help me?"

"Meyrin had the foresight to leave a pair of her heels in my car for emergencies like this," Athrun explained, wincing when he said Meyrin's name. She hadn't responded to any of his messages or calls, and Athrun was getting fed up with her immaturity. "I'm sure it'll fit you as well."

"My father taught me not to follow strangers, especially not to their cars."

"Well, I'm no stranger now, am I?" Athrun teased, grabbing her bag by its handle. "Guess you'll have to take your chances with me, Cagalli."

The blonde wanted to roll her eyes and tell him to get away from her, but currently she was _desperate_. And no one else would offer their assistance to her, so she begrudgingly accepted and followed him to the parking on the opposite side of the building. Once they reached his car, she couldn't help but gape in amazement.

"That's the latest model of the Infinite line!" Cagalli squirmed with jealousy—how could Athrun afford such a car? "Don't tell me your dad gave you this."

"Stop assuming my dad still pays for my things," Athrun groaned, wishing he could glare at the insufferable blonde; but he didn't want to scare her off—why in the seven hells did he care, he didn't know. "I'll have you know that I'm capable of supporting myself. Does your dad still pay for _your_ things?"

"Of course not," Cagalli answered back too quickly, too defensively. "Fine. We're _adults_ now, after all. I'll stop bringing it up."

"Thank you." Athrun brought out Meyrin's shoes—a simple pair of sling back black heels with a white ribbon on the front. "Here."

"Thank you." Now it was Cagalli's turn to express her gratitude. As Athrun had said earlier, it did fit her. It was a bit tight in front and a tad bit too girly looking, but it would have to do. "Now, if only the gods would give me a break and let me get a freaking taxi."

"You've somewhere to go?" Athrun asked as he closed the trunk of his car. "My schedule's cleared for the rest of the afternoon, so I can drive you if it's not too far."

Cagalli considered his offer. Her meeting was with Archangel, a holding company based in the third district, which was a good fifteen miles away. If she accepted Athrun's offer, it would take her thirty minutes to get there—that was, if there was no traffic. But since they were in the city, it should take an additional twenty minutes to navigate through the roads. Still, she could make it in time for her meeting which was an hour from now. Cagalli didn't know how long it would take her to get a taxi—if she got one at all.

"Alright," Cagalli conceded. "I owe you, then."

Once they got in the car, the blonde immediately began to admire Athrun's car; while the blue-haired man explained to her what the new features and functions were. She told him that her old car had broken down this morning; Athrun remembered that she had named it Rouge, agreed that it was supposed to be acting up the way it was given its age. Cagalli laughed as Athrun made a joke about her car—she hated to admit it, but she had missed him. She had been putting him off in her mind, but now that he was physically with her, she had no choice but to confront her thoughts.

She remembered how happy they were, how much she had loved him; how she had hurt him when she left.

Cagalli smiled as Athrun said another pun. If he was this happy now, then that Meyrin girl must have helped him get over her. Whoever that girl was, she probably deserved him more than Cagalli did.

"Hey, hamsterbrain," Athrun called out, his hands held firmly on the stirring wheel. "What's got you thinking?"

"That's my line."

"I don't see your name attached to it," Athrun replied with a shrug. He briefly glanced at her before his eyes returned to the road. "But really, you've been quiet for the past ten minutes."

"I'm trying to enjoy this ride."

"What do you mean? I'm an amazing driver."

"Yeah, you still think you're better than me just because you don't get road rage."

"Something's bothering you," Athrun pointed out, ignoring her comment and lowering the volume on the stereo. "You're using _that_ tone."

"What tone?"

"_That_!"

Cagalli puffed her cheeks and looked to the window. Outside, it was beginning to rain.

"I just don't want to talk."

"Why?"

"You know why."

"I'm smart, sure, but I don't know everything, Cagalli."

Cagalli faced him again and frowned. He still affected her so—and he was as aloof now as he was then.

"If we keep talking, it'll end up in another fight," she explained calmly, choosing to be _mature_. "Given how our conversation at The Dessert Tiger was cut short last time, you can't blame me for being cautious."

Athrun furrowed his dark brows. In his heart, he couldn't accept such a reason—but who was he to argue with her?

"Alright," he acquiesced, although begrudgingly. His hand moved to the control panel of his stereo system and brought the volume back up. Still, the radio could not drown out the din of his thoughts. She was being cruel and unfair—like she had been all those years ago. And yet, he couldn't stop himself from feeling for her.

Eventually, they reached her destination and he parked into the driveway in front of the lobby of the tall building.

"Thank you again, Athrun," Cagalli said, albeit rather coldly. But then her demeanor softened when she saw that he was frowning so deeply that lines were forming on his forehead. "I'll find a way to make it up to you one of these days."

"One of these days," Athrun repeated with a shake of his head. "It's nothing, Cagalli."

The blonde just nodded and stepped out of the car. She looked at her watch and saw that she had exactly four minutes to get to the eighteenth floor, and so she sprinted to the front desk where she could get her visitor's pass.

Athrun watched Cagalli walk away again. Although the circumstances were different, he couldn't help but feel the familiar pang in his chest as he saw her retreating figure. He was tired of feeling the same pain every time he saw her, and he wondered why she had to come back to his life _now_ when he finally forgot about her, when he was ready propose to his new girlfriend. He shook his head—he should _stop_ thinking about Cagalli. Especially when he had a new relationship to fix.

Meanwhile, in the middle of the lobby, Cagalli felt her phone ring through her bag. Quickly rummaging through her belongings and brought out her phone, where her screen flashed a notification of eight missed calls. She stopped in her tracks when her eyes landed on a text message saying her meeting was rescheduled to a later date.

Cagalli turned around, but Athrun's car was already at the corner.

_Bloody hell._

So this was how it felt, Cagalli thought as her tears were ready to spill over, to be left in the rain as the one you loved drove away.


	4. Wilted Flowers

**Darling So It Goes**  
by **Starrify**

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Notes: This chapter will give you a small glimpse of Cagalli's life after their break up. I've decided not to put flashbacks of what happened while they dated; instead it'll be written in between lines, so you have to pay attention if you want to learn what happened. ;)

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**Sunday, 27 January 78 C.E.**

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"We don't have one ready to go, so would you like me to arrange a bouquet for you?"

"Yes, please." Cagalli returned the guy's smile. "But nothing too fancy; just a simple plastic wrap would do."

The lad nodded and went to the back of the store, probably to get his supplies. Cagalli continued to look at the different flowers, wondering what each one meant. Finally, Cagalli turned around as she heard a bell tinkle, signifying the entrance of another customer—and cursed under her breath once she saw who it was.

"Careful, Zala," she warned playfully. "I'm beginning to think that you're stalking me."

"I frequent this store, actually," Athrun remarked, smirking as he now had the upper-hand somehow. "Unlike the time I bumped into you at that Tiger café place, I actually know the owner of this shop."

"You mean that kid with unnatural red highlights?"

"You heard that, Vino? I told you it wouldn't work on girls."

"Yeah, I already got rejected enough because of it," the boy answered as he brought back some colored plastic and ribbons. "Welcome back, Athrun. When did you get back to Aprilius?"

"Three weeks ago, Vino," he answered. "Anyway; I called earlier so you have my order ready, right?"

"Yep, it's just at the back. Problems under the sheets again?" The young man named Vino cackled. He took Cagalli's order of gladioluses and began to arrange them. "I've known Meyrin since we were kids. I'm doing you a favor when I tell you to get away from her."

Athrun winced at what Vino had told him. He'd been considering breaking it off; their relationship had been strained because of how often he had to travel—the distance didn't bother her, but the possibility of infidelity. Meyrin had extreme jealous tendencies; and it didn't help that Cagalli had '_ruined_' their anniversary night.

"That's rough, buddy," Cagalli offered with a small grin. "If it's any consolation, I don't like her that much."

"How is that supposed to console me?"

"Beats me." Cagalli shrugged. "She seems just the kind of crazy you'd be attracted to."

"Of course you'd know what I'd be attracted to."

"Of course." Cagalli winked at him as she handed over her credit card to Vino, who swiped away at it happily. He gave Cagalli her order and thanked her for doing business at his shop. "Anyway, it was nice to see you again; but I'll be heading to Martius now."

"Wait!" Athrun called out before she could step out of the shop. "I'm going there, too."

"Meyrin lives there?"

"With her sister, yes. I didn't see your car outside, so I'm assuming it's still under maintenance?"

"It's at the car wash, actually."

"Ah, because of the rain yesterday."

"Yeah." Cagalli affirmed as she eyed the huge bouquet Vino handed to Athrun. It was _grandiose_, for sure—and definitely put her small gladioluses to shame. It was an arrangement of red and white azaleas, and small stems of baby's breath scattered around. "But I wouldn't want to inconvenience you. The bus passes by where I need to be."

"If the bus passes by there, then I'll also be passing by there," Athrun argued. "Alright, don't think of it as another favor to you. It'll ease my mind knowing that I didn't waste gas on a trip for one."

"Alright," Cagalli acquiesced. "But I owe you nothing."

Athrun unconsciously grimaced. There was a time when they would promise each other the world, as if they owed one another _everything_. But that time had passed, he reminded himself, and their younger selves were worlds away—in this new age, they were simply friends.

He nodded; she waited for him to step out and lead her to his car as he had done just a week ago. She entered the passenger seat, no longer as eager as she was when she first rode in his car. Cagalli had to admit, she had enjoyed what small conversation they had; he had made her laugh, like he always did. But then she accepted that nothing between them would ever be the same again—and that if she let her defenses down for even one second, she wouldn't know how much she'd hurt herself again.

"So," Athrun started as they entered the highway. "It'll be another ninety minutes before we reach Martius. Surely you're not planning to not talk to me."

"Well, what do you want me to say?"

"First, where you want to be dropped off."

"The Martius Dawn Cemetery," Cagalli replied without skipping a beat. "And second?"

"The truth."

"Ah," Cagalli said with an awkward laugh. "For that, you'll have to give me at least a three-day notice."

"Fine, fine," Athrun answered, laughing as well. "Okay, well I don't know what else I want to hear from you."

"How about you let me sleep and wake me up when we get there?"

"That's fine, too." Athrun looked over at her affectionately, having a glimpse of a flashback of the times she'd fall asleep on him, on the days after they had exams. He remembered how they'd be talking and then she'd just randomly started snoring; and that he'd steal a kiss and she'd wake up.

_Worlds away_, he reminded himself as he focused on the road once more. At the back seat was his bouquet for Meyrin; in her hands, her flowers for someone who must have mattered enough for her to visit in the cemetery. Athrun couldn't think of any of their friends from university to have prematurely passed, and so this must be a friend of hers from her new life.

Eventually an hour had passed—and he hadn't noticed that he was over-speeding, because there was no other way he would have gotten to Martius City that fast if he wasn't. When they reached the driveway before the cemetery, Athrun parked at the side of the road and nudged Cagalli awake.

Her eyes fluttered open, and the gold of them filled Athrun's own eyes with longing.

"We're here already?"

"Yeah."

Cagalli rubbed at her eyes and turned to look outside, frowning as she saw the sky.

"It's going to rain."

"You don't have an umbrella?"

"The weather report said it'd be cloudy."

"The report for Aprilius is different for Martius."

"I forget that sometimes," Cagalli defended herself with a yawn. "Thank you—"

"No, no," Athrun cut her off—he couldn't leave her in the rain; not as she left him before. "I'll drive you in, and then I'll bring you to the bus terminal afterwards."

Cagalli smiled, looking grateful; looking as beautiful as ever.

"You're being too nice to me," she pointed out as he put the car back in drive, and then she pointed out the directions to the grave she was visiting. "Seriously. No sane _ex_ would do this."

"Well," Athrun rebuked as he parked near a small grassy hill. "Once upon a time, you were the kind of crazy I was attracted to."

Cagalli ignored how her stomach suddenly churned at his comment. She stepped out and walked up the hill, clutching her small bouquet tightly to her chest. Finally, she arrived in front of _his_ grave—and took away the flowers she had brought last month, which had naturally wilted away.

_Ahmed Ashman_.

"Hey," she whispered, laying down the new set of flowers over his name. And then she sat on the grass, as she did whenever she visited. "I'm back."

And there is so much she wanted to say, to tell him; that Athrun was back in her life and that she was starting to think that she may have never fallen out of love with him. That she was sorry—_so, so_ sorry.

"Did you love him?" Minutes later, a voice asked from behind her, and she doesn't need to turn around to know it's Athrun and that he's holding an umbrella over her head.

_I wish I had_, was what she wanted to answer, because the truth was exactly that, and maybe she wouldn't be feeling this way if she had; but instead, what passed through her lips was, "You're not the only one allowed to try to move on."

_Try_. Athrun sighed, not liking where this conversation was going. He held out one hand to help Cagalli stand up; while the other put down the bouquet he was supposed to give to Meyrin. The blonde looked at him questioningly, shocked at his actions; but instead he just shrugged.

"It's raining," he told her. "That Aisha lady said you liked to order cappuccino when it rains."

"You remember that."

"I remember _everything_."

Athrun interlocked his fingers with hers and guided her down the hill. Around them, the rain continued to fall. Cagalli had to let go of the warmth of his hand when he helped her into his car; but then clung unto it again once he entered the driver's side.

What she didn't want to admit—to him, to herself; to anyone else—was that she remembered everything, too.

"You have to let my hand go if you want me to find us a warm café to get your cappuccino," Athrun eventually said; but he himself wasn't making a move to let go of her hand. "Come on, Cagalli."

Once she released his hand, he drove them out of Martius; Cagalli recognized the highway going back to Aprilius. They both sat there in silence, thinking of what had just happened. The car still smelled of azaleas; and outside it was still raining. For a second, she considered grabbing his hand away from the stick shift—something she used to do five years ago.

But she didn't, for their younger selves were worlds away.


	5. Red Dresses

**Darling So It Goes**  
by** Starrify**

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Notes: I swear, I'm supposed to focus on writing _Heavy Lies The Crown_, but instead all I want to do is keep writing this! I think it's because I can personally relate to this story as opposed to the fantastical setting of HTLC. Anyways, I hope you guys are enjoying this. :)

* * *

**Friday, 1 February 78 C.E.**

* * *

"So you held hands for like five minutes, and now you think you're in love with him—_again_. That's just bloody fantastic! How old are you again, _five_?"

"I'm twenty-three."

"See! You're not in bloody kindergarten anymore! You know better than to think too much into these things." Miriallia grabbed another dress from the rack and put it over her torso; scrutinizing how she looked in the mirror. On the lounge chair of the posh store was her bothered blonde friend who she didn't think should be troubled at all. "I mean, you're the one who taught me this wild city lifestyle of flings and one night stands and all that. _This_ moping teenager is not the empowered woman I know."

"You're not really helping, Miriallia," Cagalli groaned as she watched her friend return the dress and take another one out. "God, I don't even know why I agreed to come with you to the mall. You know I _hate_ shopping."

"And what better way to help you than to redirect your frustration?"

"You're a _great_ friend."

"I've been your best friend since you moved back to Heliopolis!" Miriallia fake-gasped. "This is how you treat me after everything we've been through? You wound me."

Cagalli finally stood up and stretched her legs. She briefly glanced at the mirror and smiled proudly at her ensemble: a plain tank top, capri jeans, and a comfortable pair of sneakers. Meanwhile, she rolled her eyes at Miriallia, who wore an orange dress more appropriate for fourteen-year olds.

"Sometimes I forget how we met."

"Our boyfriends died in a car crash," Miriallia was quick to reply. "It's an excellent foundation for friendship, actually. Just one of the many things we have in common, hm?"

Cagalli cringed. "That's morbid."

"But it's true! My therapist told me that the more we admit to our realities, the easier it will be to accept them."

"Your therapist is just as crazy as you are," Cagalli replied blandly, getting more impatient as Miriallia kept putting back the dresses she took out. "Sometimes I like you better when you're not on antidepressants."

Miriallia ignored her friend and instead took out two dresses of similar styles but of different colors—one red, one violet.

"I have this theory that you're a turtle."

"I'm not staying for this—"

"No, no! Listen first!" Miriallia put down the dresses on the chair and held onto Cagalli's wrists to keep her from walking away. "You're retreating into your shell like a turtle! You've hidden away from something dangerous, that old flame of yours, because you're _scared_. It's a line you don't want to cross; something you've kept away for so long. And you're afraid; you don't know what to do now that he's back in your life!"

"Well, what do you want me to do about it, Miri?" Cagalli whined, exasperated. "After we became friends, what did I tell you?"

"Don't ask anything about your past."

"And there's a reason why I don't like talking about it."

"Exactly!" Miriallia countered. "As far as I know, I've been your only friend since Ahmed died—and that was _three_ years ago. Don't you think it's time to let someone else in, to let someone else know what's troubling you?"

Cagalli groaned, knowing she can't escape Miriallia's questioning. She _loved_ Miriallia to bits, appreciated everything the brunette did for her. Miriallia rarely left Heliopolis, where she was stationed as a photographer for the biggest local newspaper. They were inseparable back in Orb; but after Cagalli left four months ago, Miriallia volunteered to take on every assignment which required her to travel to Plant in order to visit her best friend.

Their friendship had started after they were introduced to each other by their boyfriends at the time, Tolle and Ahmed, who were close friends—and then a few days later, the two boys got involved in a car crash in which neither of them survived. Miriallia didn't open up to anyone else but Cagalli, who she believed was the only one who understood how she felt.

The blonde was there for her when she needed her the most—and now Miriallia would be damned if she didn't find a way to help Cagalli.

"I'm not going to stop bothering you until you tell me who this Athrun guy is and why his presence bothers you so much now," Miriallia continued to blabber on. She dropped Cagalli's wrists and resumed holding up the two identical dresses. "He was your boyfriend in college—that is literally all I know about him. Oh, I also know that he won this robotics competition seven years ago."

"How did you know that?"

"It was the first thing that came up when I searched Athrun's name and Copernicus University. There was a small thumbnail of his profile—but I swear that's all I saw!" Miriallia threw one of the dresses to Cagalli, who instinctively caught it. "It was a breach of your privacy, and as your _best_ friend, I immediately stopped snooping."

Cagalli gave Miriallia a small smile, genuinely grateful.

"I'll tell you one of these days, I promise."

"Well I'm going back home in two weeks so you better be ready with your story by then." Miriallia threatened as she dragged her friend to the dressing room. "Now, you will try on that dress and these heels and be super confident and sexy; and you will forget about that Athrun guy, alright?"

"Fine, fine." The blonde played along and entered the stall next to Miriallia's. "But you have to promise you won't feel insecure once I come out looking super fabulous."

"I'm already done!" Miriallia called out, and Cagalli heard the door beside her stall swing open. "Hurry up, you slow turtle."

Cagalli laughed again—earlier she had wondered why Miriallia would drag her along to do _shopping_, but now she was actually enjoying the brunette's company. She stepped out and faced Miriallia, faked a pose as she modeled her dress.

"You look _hot_."

"And you," Cagalli countered, giggling. "You look like your proper age."

Miriallia squealed; Cagalli winced, reminding herself to ask Miriallia if she was taking the proper dosage of her prescription drugs. The brunette snapped her fingers and two salesladies went into the two booths they had previously occupied and came out with two paper bags with the store's name printed on it. Cagalli turned to her friend, confused; but Miriallia kept on smiling.

"I handed my credit card to the saleslady while you were dressing, so now we can get an early start and head to the bars in the second district!" Miriallia grabbed Cagalli's hand and pulled her out of the big room allocated to the ladies' dressing booths and back into the main area of the large store. "Let's go—oof!"

Cagalli was quick to help her friend up, laughing as the brunette stared into the space in front of her.

"Miriallia?" she asked, amused. "Are you okay?"

"Does Athrun have blue hair and green eyes?"

"What—?" Cagalli turned around and saw the last person she wanted to see. "Oh, _bloody_ fantastic."

Athrun eyed her from head to toe and had to stifle a snigger. Cagalli saw him scrutinize her rather racy outfit and immediately felt _naked_—not that there was nothing of her which he hadn't seen yet, but _still_. Her cheeks immediately burned with the mortification of being seen in public, in such a dress. She gave him a curt nod to at least acknowledge his presence—for after all, they were _civil_—and went on her way out of the shop, with Miriallia quickly chasing after her flushed friend.

"He's _hot_!" Miriallia blurted after they were a safe fifty meters away from the store. "Ahmed—may he rest in peace—has _nothing_ on him! I swear, Cagalli—"

Cagalli covered Miriallia's mouth and pulled her to hide behind a giant plant near one of the posts of the mall. The blonde peeked from behind the green leaves and _lo and behold_, there was Athrun holding Meyrin's hand—and looking _happy,_ at that. She wasn't aware of how she had stopped moving and breathing, but Miriallia was there to slap some life back into the blonde as soon as the couple was out of sight.

"Redirect your frustration to really angry sex with a stranger tonight?" Miriallia suggested; and Cagalli didn't know whether to cry on her friend's shoulder or strangle her. "Come on; you're the strongest person I know, Cagalli. You got over Ahmed—surely you can get over this Athrun guy, too."

Cagalli nodded and recomposed herself, smoothing over the crinkled planes of her new red dress.

Surely she can get over Athrun.

But watching him hold someone else's hand—someone else who was not _her_—well, for the first time in five years, it made her wonder if she was ever going to.


	6. Shameful Walks

**Darling So It Goes  
**by **Starrify**

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Notes: This chapter is more mature than the others because of its depiction of a certain lifestyle. Be warned, younger readers, that this is rated T for a reason. I've added dates on the chapters so that the timeline is clearer. :) Happy reading!

* * *

**Saturday, 2 February 78 C.E.**

* * *

_Redirect your frustration to really angry sex with a stranger._

Miriallia didn't give the most solid of advices—but that was fine, because Cagalli wasn't the sanest person either. She wasn't fond of one-night stands, really; but still she found herself involved in them more often than she planned.

After she left Copernicus and returned to Heliopolis, Cagalli felt traumatized. She had left the person she loved the most—who loved her the most—and could not find it in herself to become close with anyone else. She had shut herself from the world, did not make any new friends, and basically stayed locked up in her old room in her family's estate. She didn't need to work—not when her father headed the largest conglomerate based in Orb.

But one day, while out on an errand for her father, she bumped into a guy who was so nice to her—but it reminded her too much of Athrun, so she had run away from him. But he was resilient, giving her gifts and offering to take her out. Ahmed was adventurous, constantly living through the thrill of dangerous activities. And somehow Cagalli found herself attracted to him, to the stark contrast between Ahmed and Athrun, who always liked to play it safe.

Except Ahmed had to go and drive off a cliff in the middle of the night, and _die_—leaving Cagalli more emotionally scarred than ever.

But she had to be strong for the more fragile Miriallia, who was with Ahmed's best friend since they were in high school. Cagalli detached herself to help the brunette. Their running joke is that while Miriallia went through at least twenty therapists, Cagalli went through at least twenty random guys.

The blonde didn't deny that she avoided having dry spells for too long. Soon enough, Miriallia joined her in her lifestyle of being emotionally removed, of being intimate without involving any feelings. Not long after that she put to use her business administration degree from Copernicus University and began working in one of the subsidiary companies owned by the Athha Corporation. Naturally she had hidden away her identity—else she'd be given special treatment. Cagalli worked her ass off to pay for her own dues, and despite of everything that happened to her, she was pretty proud that she had gotten this far.

Far from her family name. Far from her old life.

And now, far from her apartment in Aprilius City.

_Redirect your frustration to really angry sex with a stranger._

Because of the many one-night stands she had previously pulled off, Cagalli was a self-proclaimed expert at the walk of shame.

Carefully, she maneuvered her way out of the guy's bed and silently tiptoed her way into the living room. Cagalli could not remember much of last night, having drunken all of her Athrun-related problems away, except that she was on the twenty-seventh floor of a pretty posh condominium. She was still in Aprilius—as she saw the nice view of the city from the window in the stranger's bedroom.

Her clothes were scattered all over the living room—on the sofas, on the floor; she had even picked up her bra over a lamp. Snickering, she dressed herself and put her coat over her skimpy red dress—the same red dress Athrun had seen her wearing.

She had gotten herself drunk to forget about Athrun—and now that she was hung over, she began to remember him again. Putting on her stilettos and grabbing her purse off the kitchen counter, Cagalli walked out of the condominium and was surprised to find that the hallway was carpeted. Shrugging, Cagalli strutted to the elevator and waited for it to open. The metal door slid to one side and she stepped in. She was about to press the button which would bring her to the ground floor when a hand put itself in between the door and the outer frame, making the elevator open again; revealing blue hair, green eyes, and a confused face.

"Oh, god," Cagalli found herself groaning. "Seriously?"

"I'm just as surprised to see you," Athrun said without smiling, scrunching his thick brows. "I never expected you to be here in my condominium building, on my floor." He stopped to take in her appearance. "From a one-night stand, I presume."

Cagalli glared at him through tired eyes.

"I'm not judging you, really," Athrun added with a snigger. "It bothers me, though."

"What does?"

"Someone else touching you," he answered so surely that Cagalli was almost convinced that there was something behind what he said; that there was a chance that Athrun still loved her. _Almost._ "I never thought you'd be the kind of girl to go for flings with strangers. That's just not you."

"What would you know about me, Zala?" Cagalli snorted defensively, shaking off her earlier thoughts. How could she have deluded herself, even just for a second? "It's not you to date younger girls who dress like they're twelve either."

"You don't know Meyrin."

"Then don't presume you know me, Athrun," Cagalli finally said. "Because you never really did."

"Alright," Athrun acquiesced, reaching out for the button indicating the ground floor. From experience, he knew never to argue with Cagalli. He honestly didn't want a repeat of their first meeting in the café, but he didn't want to bring up what happened last week either.

He had held her hand—which was no big deal; they weren't in kindergarten, after all. But then he had bought her coffee. And they had sat there in her booth, in comfortable silence. And he had a good hour to look at her while it rained outside, to see the girl he had fallen in love with—and the hardened woman who had left him. And when finally he left, he was thinking of the possibility that he had never stopped loving her. And then when he got back to his condominium, Meyrin was waiting outside for him, telling him she was sorry, that she trusted him, and that she loved him _so much_.

Everything was terribly difficult, Athrun thought. He loved Meyrin, but he could not scale it to how much he felt for Cagalli. Did he still love the blonde, after leaving him hurt? Did he not love Meyrin, who was so hopelessly devoted to him? Or was it possible for him to love them both equally?

"Ahmed reminded me of you."

Athrun turned to look at the blonde who had suddenly spoken up.

"He was kind and very persistent; really patient, too. He was just like you when you first asked me out."

"That was seven years ago."

"Sometimes I remember," Cagalli confessed, her eyes closed. "When things get too troublesome, I try to recall when my life wasn't too complicated, when I had you."

"Why are you telling me this?" Athrun asked, genuinely intrigued at the sudden honesty the blonde was displaying. Just a few seconds ago she was being rather harsh, telling him that he didn't know her.

Cagalli took a deep breath. She opened her eyes again and saw the small display read that they were somewhere between the seventh and sixth floor.

"Because a friend told me that the more we admit to our realities, the easier it will be to accept them." _It will be easier to accept that I'm not yours anymore,_ she wanted to add, but was afraid that it would be too much for her to say.

Miriallia didn't give the most solid of advices—but her therapists sure did.

Athrun merely nodded and said no more. This was Cagalli's way of telling him that she wanted to move on, wasn't it? He bit his lip to stop himself from speaking out, of telling her that he didn't really want her to move on from him—because now he was sure that he hasn't completely moved on from her.

A bell rung and the elevator door moved to the side once more—this time, revealing red hair, blue eyes, and a really angry face.

Meyrin stomped away without a word. Athrun groaned, knowing what Meyrin just assumed—especially given Cagalli's rather disorganized appearance.

But then, Athrun thought to himself, this was finally his chance to let Meyrin go. He now knew he didn't love Meyrin as much as he loved Cagalli. Maybe this was finally his chance to get back together with the true love of his life, as cheesy as it sounded. He had loved Cagalli so much, he now remembered.

"You should go after her."

Athrun turned to Cagalli, confused._ Did she not want him back? _When Cagalli gave him a small smile, Athrun felt his hopes being crushed. _Maybe she didn't_. Athrun nodded dumbly and exited the elevator, walking slowly to chase after Meyrin—like what Cagalli wanted.

Except Cagalli did want him back. And as she watched Athrun's back become smaller with the distance he was putting between them to chase after his new girlfriend, Cagalli wondered if telling him to go after Meyrin was the best thing to do—for the both of them.


	7. Overrated Holidays

**Darling So It Goes**  
by** Starrify**

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Notes: If you've been paying attention, you won't be too surprised by the twist at the end of this chapter. Gosh, I feel so excited! Hope you guys are, too. So is there really hope for Athrun and Cagalli? Or is it better that they move on? I feel evil for keeping them apart in this story, but hey, it's the seventh chapter! We're halfway there! Enjoy the long chapter!

* * *

**Saturday, 16 February 78 C.E.**

* * *

It had been exactly two weeks since he last saw her, still looking pretty even after a night with a stranger.

_A stranger_—that's what had bothered him the most. It wasn't like Cagalli to sleep around. The Cagalli he knew wasn't capable of emotionally detaching herself enough to pick random guys off the bar. She wore her heart on her sleeve, depended on her emotions to guide her. How could the Cagalli he knew be the same woman he kept bumping into in the city?

"What are you thinking about now, Athrun?"

He snapped his thoughts back to the present; back to the _now_—which was with Meyrin.

"Nothing much. I just—I still don't get the point of celebrating Valentine's Day," he sighed as he spun around his fork in his plate of pasta. "I mean, in an alternate universe, the fourteenth of February could be cursed. Like, the anniversary of a galactic war—"

Meyrin gave him a warning glance. "What did we say about alternate universes?"

"That we shouldn't wonder about them and instead be content in our own universe."

His red-headed girlfriend smiled sweetly and resumed playing with the large meatball on her plate. Athrun didn't have the heart to tell her that he was far from content—well, he was, for a time. For two years, when he was with Meyrin, when he had forgotten all about Cagalli; but now that she was back in his life as a different woman, how could he ignore the tugging in his heart, the voice at the back of his head which told him to unravel the mystery behind her changing?

But then, since when was Cagalli _not_ an enigma? She had arrived at Copernicus University at the middle of the semester in their first year, all quiet and broody and antisocial. It was only at the end of the school year did she come out of the shell—and that was after a lot of coaxing from the nicest girl in campus, Lacus Clyne. She joined their small circle of friends; and not so soon after that, Athrun fell in love with her. For three years they dated—well, for two years and a half. And they were happy.

Cagalli had left the university the same way she arrived—in the middle of the semester, with no notice at all.

He looked up from his plate and saw Meyrin—adorable as ever—trying to fit the meatball into her mouth. Athrun didn't doubt that he loved Meyrin, but he wasn't going to deny that he still loved Cagalli either. He wanted to move on from the blonde; but at the same time, he didn't.

For their post-Valentine's date, Athrun had chosen to take Meyrin to a rather obscure Italian restaurant in Februarius City. There was absolutely no way he would meet Cagalli here. The last time Meyrin saw Athrun with Cagalli, she had flipped and screamed at him about how his infidelity wouldn't be tolerated. It had taken her an hour to calm down and listen to his explanation. He had told her that she misunderstood, that Cagalli was just his friend from college and that she actually came from someone else's room.

"Oh my gosh," he heard Meyrin gasp, spluttering on the water she drank to wash down the meatball. "That's Shinn Asuka."

"Who?" Athrun asked, looking to where Meyrin had her eyes set—to a dark haired man in a plain red dress shirt. "The name sounds familiar."

"He's Luna's ex from college."

"Really now?" Athrun inspected the man from afar—he wasn't that bad looking. And from the way he dressed, he seemed well off. "Why'd they break up?"

Meyrin stopped looking over her shoulder and broke off a piece of her garlic bread and put it in her mouth.

"It was pretty rough, actually—at least for Luna. Shinn just left one day, told her he was going back to Orb and that was the end of them."

Athrun never thought he'd have something in common with the loud Hawke sister; but now that Meyrin told him about her ex-boyfriend, they apparently did.

"He didn't explain why he had to leave?"

"Actually, there's an interesting story to that," Meyrin started, taking another piece of bread. "Orb had a tiger economy a few years ago, right? We knew Shinn was pretty loaded, what with his father being the president of Impulse Motor Corporation. We assumed that his dad called him up for business."

"What's so interesting about that?" Athrun asked, looking past Meyrin's shoulder and at the dark-haired man, who seemed like he was waiting for someone else as he still hadn't ordered.

"Luna couldn't accept that her soulmate went off to leave her, so she called the company line and demanded to talk with Shinn's father to convince him to send his son back to her. It turned out that Shinn's whole family died in a terrible car accident. Ironic, isn't it?"

Athrun drew in his breath. It seemed that Cagalli wasn't the only one who lost a loved one in a car crash. And also, if Shinn had dated Meyrin's sister, then that meant they were peers. He couldn't imagine being completely _alone_ at his age. He had his parents enjoying retirement in December, his best friend Kira who was like a brother to him—and now he had Meyrin, too.

"That's…_rough_," Athrun coughed out, looking away from Shinn. "Lunamaria let him go after that, then?"

"Yeah, she understood that he needed time to mourn. But they're good friends now." Meyrin smiled cheerfully and wiped the corners of her mouth with the table napkin. "Now, will you excuse me? I need to head to the girl's room."

"Go ahead," Athrun said, unable to pull back Meyrin's chair for her because of the pretty cramped space. "I'll be right here."

While Meyrin went to the washroom, Athrun couldn't help but _think_. This Shinn character to Lunamaria was like Cagalli to him. Shinn and Cagalli just went off and left with no explanation—and the difference between him and Lunamaria was that Lunamaria couldn't accept Shinn leaving, while he had simply accepted that Cagalli was gone.

He hadn't tried to contact her, to take matters into his own hands and ask her _why_ she had to leave him. Instead, he moped in his dorm room and channeled his frustration into studying to ace his last final exams. He had graduated with honors, but still he felt _empty_. They called her name—Cagalli Yula—because she apparently finished all of her required units even when she wasn't physically present—and his mother had looked to him worriedly then.

Athrun couldn't help but think that it all went wrong because he didn't try hard enough.

"Hey, when I said I was going to the washroom, that didn't give you the authority to _think_," Meyrin teased as she sat down. "Gosh, your brain's probably like…a hamster running on its wheel!"

Athrun froze. That was what Cagalli used to say when she told him off for thinking.

"Did I say something wrong?" Meyrin amended; seeing Athrun's hardened jaw. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insult you—"

"You didn't," Athrun said, cutting off Meyrin. "I was still thinking. Work-related things. Sorry, Meyrin."

"I see," she answered, relieved. Then, she looked over her shoulder again and saw that Shinn finally had company. "Ah, Luna told me that he was seeing someone new. A blonde, I think she said that his new girl's name was Stellar."

Athrun looked to Shinn's table and saw that there was indeed a lady with him. Her back was to them, but they could see that her golden hair fell in soft waves just below her shoulder and that her dress was a blue which paired well with Shinn's red shirt.

"She's probably a lovely girl," Athrun finally decided as he resumed eating the remained portion of pasta on his plate. Then, he looked back up to face his girlfriend. "Not that I'm interested in her, because I have a great girl right in front of me."

Meyrin laughed, blushing. "You've got marinara sauce on the side of your mouth, dear."

"Do I now?" Athrun asked as he took the napkin off his lap and dabbed at the corner of his lips. "Better?"

The redhead nodded as she stifled a giggle. Shaking her head, she twirled her spaghetti around her fork and ate the pasta heartily, putting on a delighted expression as it passed through her throat.

"Meyrin!" A voice called from the side of her table and they simultaneously looked up to see Shinn standing before them. "What a coincidence, seeing you here."

"Nice to see you, too, Shinn," Meyrin answered politely. "I'm actually wondering what _you_'re doing here in Plant. I thought that you were based in Orb, handling all those Impulse affairs of yours."

"I am, actually; but I'm on vacation now. Sort of." He then turned to Athrun. "So you must be Mey's boyfriend." Shinn's crimson eyes darted to scrutinize Athrun, but Shinn found him more or less agreeable. "Mey's like a little sister to me, so you better not break her heart."

"You broke _my_ sister's heart!" Meyrin argued jokingly. "Don't be a hypocrite now, Shinn."

"So you mean you want _him_ to break your heart?"

Meyrin rolled her eyes. "Speaking of heartbreakers, is that your new girlfriend at your table?"

"So you noticed I was here before I noticed you." Shinn smirked at her, and then his eyes visibly softened as he spoke of his girlfriend. "Stellar's a professional ballerina back in Orb, but her ballet company's on tour in Europe. She's in Berlin right now, I believe."

"Wow," Meyrin said, impressed. "So, who's that at your table then?"

Shinn briefly glanced at the blonde at his table.

"This is actually a work-related meeting. I'm thinking of selling Impulse, you see."

"But I heard you're doing quite well!"

"Yeah, and I'm just not interested." Shinn shrugged, seeming to not care at all for his business. "It's just, Impulse reminds me too much of my family. I want it off my hands." Then he pointed at the blonde on his table. "They'll be taking good care of my company, I'm sure."

"They?" Athrun asked, intrigued—business was, after all, his field. "Who could possibly buy out one of the largest motor corporations in Orb?"

"Who else but the Athha Corporation?" Shinn answered, looking quite smug. He motioned for the couple to follow him to his table, where Cagalli was seated with an awkward smile aimed at Athrun and Meyrin. "Meet the daughter of business mogul Uzumi Nara Athha, Cagalli Yula _Athha_."

Athrun glared, but Cagalli maintained her composure.

"Hello, Meyrin," Cagalli greeted the redhead who had her mouth agape in shock. The blonde gulped before she spoke again. "Hello, Athrun."

"Ah, you know them?" Shinn asked, confused. "Small world."

"Small world," Athrun agreed, feeling more angry—_betrayed_.

_A stranger_—that was who_ this_ Cagalli was.


	8. Unanswered Questions

**Darling So It Goes**  
by** Starrify**

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Notes: I've been away because of work, err. I will focus on _Heavy Lies The Crown_ after this update, haha. Enjoy the drama that is chapter eight. ;)

And to buttercup10: He's not betrayed because she's with Shinn. Once upon a time Athrun was Cagalli's greatest confidant of sorts as her boyfriend, so that's why he felt betrayed when he found out that she had hidden away her identity as an Athha. :)

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**Sunday, 17 February 78 C.E.**

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From her booth, she could see him standing outside of the coffee shop. She wasn't too sure if that was beads of sweat or rain—or a mixture of both on his face, but he was still very much handsome.

And furious.

The only other time she had seen him _really_ angry was six years ago, when a guy named Sting Oakley tried to publicly grope her. Athrun had beaten the poor guy up pretty badly and while Cagalli felt pity for the green-haired boy's bruised face, she was still obliged to thank Athrun for being her savior. While he was punching the guy, Cagalli noticed that Athrun's eyes had glossed over with his rage—that was how she could tell he was _really_ angry then.

And that was how she could tell he was _really_ angry _now_.

He sat on the bench across hers and the atmosphere was more intense than it had been when they had first bumped into each other in the same café over a month ago.

"How may I help you?" Cagalli said with an intentionally plastic smile as she put her book down beside her cup of coffee. She wouldn't let him stare her down—_never_.

"Cut the crap, _Athha_," Athrun answered back with the ferocity of a lion. "You owe me answers."

"I owe you _nothing_."

"Yes, you do."

"As a matter of fact, I _don't_." Cagalli matched the intensity behind his eyes, not directing her gaze anywhere else but the dark green of his irises. "I think I made it clear enough five years ago. When I left you, it meant I wanted _out_. I don't have to answer to you anymore."

"Bullshit!" Athrun slammed the table with his fist, rattling Cagalli's mug and prompting the stares of those at the tables near them—but Athrun paid them no heed. "You didn't leave because you didn't want to be with me anymore."

"Well, if we're jumping to conclusions now, I don't think it matters what I say. You'll believe what you want to."

"What choice did you leave me with, Cagalli?" Athrun's shoulders relaxed in defeat—and his eyes began to show more of his disappointment than anger. "You left with no explanation. You didn't answer any of my calls, my e-mails. You just disappeared, and we had no way to find you. We were all worried—me, Lacus, Kira. Even Yzak missed you."

Her eyes unintentionally watered, and Cagalli finally gave in and tore her gaze to blink the tears away. She remembered the late nights she spent watching, waiting for the screen of her phone come to life with every message Athrun sent. She remembered how she had forced herself to decline all of his calls. She remembered how hard she cried when she threw her phone away—

"And what did you plan to accomplish by following me here, Athrun? Did you plan to make me feel guilty for the things I did five years ago?" Cagalli laughed nervously, trying to rid herself of those memories. "If so, I'm afraid that it won't work because I _don't_ regret leaving you."

"I don't care if you don't regret leaving me."

She brought her eyes up to meet his again—and found that they had surprisingly softened. For a second, he looked much younger—and on his face was the same expression he had every time he told her he loved her.

"I _know_ you, Cagalli. Or at least, I used to." Athrun was definitely not angry anymore; and Cagalli couldn't think of any snarky response as she continued to look into his eyes. "I know how much you love spicy food. I know that you've always wanted to own a big dog, and that you have moles on your back which align like Cassiopeia. I know you like listening to boy bands even though you tell everyone otherwise. I know your favorite color is red and—"

"What's your point, Athrun?" she barked through gritted teeth. "So what if you know all those things about me? They have nothing to do with where we are now."

"That's exactly my point!" he burst out, slamming the tables once more for emphasis. "I don't _know_ where we stand."

She released the breath she wasn't aware she was holding in. _Where did they stand, exactly?_ What were they to make sense of everything that's been happening lately? How did they keep finding each other—both in and out of the city? Why did they have to appear in each other's lives again?

"I've been thinking about it, what you said. I was—_am_ angry that you lied to me, to _everyone_ about who you really are." Athrun was suddenly too calm, too rational; and Cagalli's heart kept breaking with every word he spoke. "When I bumped into you in the elevator, you told me that I never knew you. Back then I thought that it was simply because you wanted to ward me off somehow, but with Shinn's slip yesterday, now I know you had meant it."

"Being an Athha had nothing to do with me leaving, if that was what you were wondering." Cagalli didn't mean to tell him anything, but she could not stop the word vomit spewing out of her lips. "I hid my identity then for the same reason I hide it now."

"I figured as much." Athrun gave her a more sympathetic look. "So I ruled it out from my mental list of 'Why Cagalli Yula Left Me'."

"I'm honestly flattered that such a list exists."

"Yeah, well—in any case." Athrun paused to let out a cough. "I want answers."

Cagalli stared at the light circles in her coffee before bringing it up and letting the warm liquid wash down her throat. She wished there was vodka mixed into her drink—or something just as strong to give her enough courage to speak the truth.

She had been running away from this for five years now. Maybe it _was _time that she stopped.

"I'll tell you," she finally said, looking straight at his eyes. The only thoughts running in her head are _he doesn't love you anymore, Cagalli; that's why he wants to know_—_he doesn't love you anymore_. "But if you interrupt me at anytime, I'm going to leave."

Athrun nodded almost too eagerly.

"I…" she sighed. "Where do I begin?"

She didn't wait for him to prompt her back to speaking.

"I'm sure you don't really want to know the whole sob-story of why I hid my true identity from you. It's just the usual rebel daughter going against her father. I—I was so close to telling you on so many occasions, but then I was scared. What if it changed something? I trusted you and I knew I could tell you—but I was happy with how we were, so I never bothered."

She took in another deep breath.

"I wasn't supposed to get involved with anyone in the first place. I was just supposed to prove to my father that I could do things on my own and that I didn't need him sheltering me all the time. But Lacus was adamant I become friends with you all. I never pretended to be someone who I wasn't—well, other than _not_ being an Athha, I guess. The person you got to know back then—that was _me_."

He wanted answers to one specific question—and she was _stalling_. Cagalli couldn't help it. The more she tried to think of how to tell him _why_, her mind would flood with memories of that night. Athrun outside her car, Athrun in the rain, Athrun crying—_don't leave me please don't leave me don't go Cagalli please._

"So why did I leave you that night…" she began again after clearing her thoughts. "Athrun, do you remember what happened two months before I left?"

Athrun paused to think. He remembered the general events of their college years, but not the dates in which they happened—other than the more important ones, of course. He knew that they had their first kiss on the twenty-seventh of September, and after a few months of dancing around a relationship, they started officially dating on the eighth of March; and then two years later...

He nodded. She had left him about two month after they had the semestral break of their final year.

"I—do you remember what had happened?"

He nodded again. They had spent a week at the beach with their friends. Those days were the happiest the two of them had been before their big dramatic fallout. Cagalli on the sand, Cagalli under water and the stars, Cagalli crying—_more more more—_

"Now, do you remember the week before I left?"

He remembered; she had been sick. Lacus waited for him outside the door of his classroom to inform him that Cagalli had fainted in their previous class. Athrun promptly rushed to the infirmary to hold her hand, but the nurse assured him she would be fine and that she had only to sweat out the fever. He skipped his classes for the rest of the day just to be with her—that was, until the nurse told him to get back to his dormitory because visiting hours were over.

On the same night, she was transferred to the hospital. No matter how much he argued with the guards, the university policy was that the students had to stay in campus unless they were given an administrative notice or permit. He waited impatiently through his classes until she came back two days later, all sickly and depressed. Cagalli wouldn't talk to him—or to Lacus or Kira.

And then a few days later, she left.

He finally motioned to say yes—he remembered _everything_.

"I—" Cagalli's voice cracked and her body shook. "I—"

Athrun panicked. "You don't need to explain further if you can't—"

"No," the blonde reacted, forgetting what she said earlier about him interrupting her. "You had—_have_ the right to know, Athrun."

"Cagalli—" Athrun reached for her hands, but she placed them over her lap as he tried to do so.

"You were right, Athrun," Cagalli cut him off with a bitter smile. Tears were spilling down the side of her face and yet Athrun could not find the words to make her stop remembering, stop talking—it was obviously painful for her, but he _wanted_ this. He wanted to know. "I didn't leave you because I didn't want to be with you anymore."

Was this what he planned for as he tracked her down to her favorite café: to force her into admission, into breaking? Was this what he wanted: a cheap sense of victory over Cagalli Yula—Athha finally telling him the truth?

"I've been running from this for five years now," she said in a quiet whisper. "And I suppose it's about time I let someone know."

"Know what?"

_He wanted this._

She looked him straight in the eye.

_He doesn't love you anymore._

"I was pregnant."


End file.
